dicst: September 2005

Jumat, 30 September 2005

Lift Your Cups

Fill all 5 cups of coffee to get your morning lift before the time runs out.

With verbal encouragement from Trinny and Tranny.

Zombo

Welcome to Zombo com.

You can do anything at Zombo com.

The only limit is yourself.

Advice Bunny Answers Your Questions

Enter a yes or no question and the mysterious Advice Bunny will give you an answer.

Man with the biggest arms in the world

Gregg Valentino.

Firstly from The Urology Team, a couple of their five doctors.

Dr. Richard (Dick) Chopp, who is well known for performing vasectomies.

Dr. Stephen Hardeman, who treats patients for erectile dysfunction.

Whilst over at Dr Natura, you can see a photo gallery of some rather strange things that have left peoples bodies during their colonic irrigation programmes.

A warning about the picture gallery. Unsurprisingly, it's not pleasant. The photo with the rolled-up newspaper is a bit of an eye-opener, mind.

Smart beer mat orders refills

In Germany.

Air force payout cures Santa woes

They admitted causing the death of Rudolph the reindeer and has paid compensation to Father Christmas.

In Denmark.

Kamis, 29 September 2005

Someone Has Issues

Click on the photo for it's full-size splendour.

Test Your Reflexes

There are two games here.

Numbers and letters.

My Expert Panel

My Expert Panel is your very own expert panel. Ask the experts whatever you want and they will carefully analyze your question and come up with a solution how you can best solve your problem.

Eat Babies

Don't bite off more than you can chew.

The Raging Grannies

Of Seattle.

Interesting song embedded in the homepage.

Metronome Online

Tick tick tick.

Buy your own UFO

X-UFO.

Storm heading towards Japan

Typhoon Longwang.

'Spurned' man sinks luxury yacht

To stop his estranged wife from selling it.

Now he faces a £10,000 salvage bill.

That'll teach her.

Police Find Missing Man Driving Dead Deer In Ambulance

A six point buck.

11-year-old boy banned from driving

Guilty of having no headlights and of being a short-arse.

Bra check spurs nursing home worker to sue

She's claiming $9 million.

Experts debating toilet standards

At the World Toilet Summit.

Did you say dogging or blogging?

Brits confused.

Rabu, 28 September 2005

Accident

Click on the picture for bigger.

Computer frustrations?

Bash the computer!

This is fun.

Create your own work of art in the Surrealist tradition

Get surreal.

Draw Me Something

You are given a random object and your task is to draw it on the Flash drawing board.

Families of Prisoners - Composite Magic Photos

Are you tired of seeing you and your family in dozens of photos taken in the Visiting Room over the years ... all with the same old boring Visiting Room backdrops?

Photos Beyond The Wall now offers what you've been waiting for ...

They take you out of the visiting room and place you "inside" the romantic or exotic location of your choice.

Fun with a peanut

Hah!

Advertising-Design Goodness

The clue is in the title.

Hall of Technical Documentation Weirdness

Wacky, bizarre, surreal and otherwise strange examples of technical documentation.

Sports Dignity

Embarrassing sporting moments, usually involving nudity.

Similarly, here are the top ten female streakers.

Photos Offer First Glimpse of Giant Squid

Roughly 25 feet (8 metres) long.

You can read about the sexual behaviour of giant squid here.

How Chester the labrador was caught on hop by a wily bunny

Once upon a time a rabbit thrashed a dog in a 20-metre swim before hitching a lift to safety.

I saw some photos of this on the news yesterday. Can't find them online yet. I'll try.

Woman Ticketed for Sitting on a Playground Bench with No Kids

She got a ticket that could bring a one thousand dollar fine and 90 days in jail.

How do you infringe a baby's human rights?

Just say ‘coo’.

'Dead women' elected as councillors

In Pakistan.

Selasa, 27 September 2005

Hmmm

Click on the picture for a bigger version.

Staple Kevin

Get stapling.

Busy Burger Game

There's a lot of multitasking involved.

Remote Control Mail

Your postal mail online.

Millions of people are unable to get their postal mail - missing their social security checks, insurance claims, medicines, letters from loved ones... businesses are unable to collect revenues and process documents, with employees scattered all over the country... and the crisis is getting worse by the day. REMOTE CONTROL MAIL emergency service is now being provided to Hurricane Katrina victims and relief workers.

At a price.

Electronic peeing sculpture

In Prague.

Toilet Costume

For children and adults.

Signed picture of Jesus

On eBay.

Barn swallow

Grief or amatory?

The Man Who Lives in A Hole

Dan Price.

Words with no English equivalent

Tingo, nakkele and other wonders.

British teatime staple marks half century

Fish fingers.

Britain's youngest magistrate appointed

Aged 20.

Senin, 26 September 2005

The Odd Couple

The world's tallest man and shortest Superman

Happy News

Real news. Compelling stories. Always positive.

100 Most Often Misspelled Words In English

From your Dictionary.

101 Things You Didn't Know About Rock N' Roll

As written by a 16 year-old from Argentina.

Actually, I knew quite a lot of this.

Spam You Never See

Here.

Guns and Dope Party

I'm not sure they're being serious.

But what's with the ostriches?

His Little Pony

Click for bigger.

If the thumbnail stops working, (ImageVenue working intermittently at the moment), you can see it here.

Holy Hip Hop

Taking the gospel to the streets.

Million dollar website flattens student's debt

I posted about The Million Dollar Homepage a while back.

He's already raised £56,000.

Harry Potter fan copies out whole book

She spent her summer holidays writing out the latest book because she couldn't afford to buy it.

Awww.

Scots dominate in stone skimming

The World Stone Skimming Championships were held yesterday.

Despite facing challenges from competitors as far afield as Germany, Denmark, Australia and the USA, Scots scooped first place in all six categories.

Minggu, 25 September 2005

Seal

They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-haa!

21 variations.

iiiiiiii

Does exactly what it says in the URL.

Artificially Intelligent Swearing Computer

Twunt 500.

Guess what? Contains swearing.

Or you can add your own.

My name's Nabaztag

I'm the first rabbit.

And who are you?

Cute Animal Quiz

Which cute animal are you?

I'm a turtle.

Armed and dangerous - Flipper the firing dolphin let loose by Katrina

Missing in the Gulf of Mexico.

Sabtu, 24 September 2005

Hatstand

Next Stop Wonderland

I'm at a loss what to say about this.

But it cheered me right up.

Especially when I right clicked.

The page may be really slow to download or may not bother at all. Try clicking refresh.

Weird And Different Recipes

Delicious.

Twix Eaters Anonymous

Learn to share.

Cranks, Crankism, Crankishness and Crankosity

Crank Dot Net.

History of "The Finger"

Here.

Complaint letter of the year

Ahhh, NTL.

The Narrow Ice Cube Tray

Cubes fit into bottles.

Just Toilet Paper

That is all.

Kosher pet food for cats and dogs

Natural.

The Bible, translated into Glaswegian

by Paul Maplonker.

Sooty make the Guinness Book Of Records

Not for his amorous activities.

But for receiving the most valentine cards sent to a guinea pig.

Ferret Causes Controversy At Our Lady Of The Lake University

"People don't really understand".

Children's names 'spell trouble'

Teachers have confessed to making snap judgements about children from their names on the register.

Girl, eight, walks 80ft tightrope

In China.

With pictures.

Jumat, 23 September 2005

Paintbrush

Maim That Tune

Got a song stuck in your head?

Detune it.

For All Your Interesting And Bizarre Facts

eBizarre.

Save My Ass

They can save yours.

Experiments in Anonymous Kindness

Help others.

Politics

Leader of the free world?

Falling George.

On the subject of Dubya, there are rumours that he's back on the sauce.

Oh, and someone has rewritten the lyrics to American Pie.

Wallpaper from the 70s

Protect your eyes.

Rate This Scar

Scarmageddon.

Warning: some are graphic.

GameBoy Too Small?

Get a GameMan.

Barbie With a Prayer Mat

Bestseller in the Middle East.

Lost Parakeet Reunited With Owner In Japan

After it gave its own name and address.

Robbery Foiled

When robber falls from his wheelchair.

Football fans fake air emergency to watch match

Air Rum.

Kamis, 22 September 2005

Not Roy Orbison

Ulli's Roy Orbison In Clingfilm Website

He likes to write stories about Roy Orbison being wrapped up in cling-film.

I'm still chuckling about this one.

Many thanks again to Ben.

Unwise Microwave Oven Experiments

Don't try these at home.

Play with Resonance

Resonata.

The Holy Land Experience

Visit Jerusalem in Orlando.

10 Most Dangerous Jobs

According to MSN Careers.

Beer Turns Men Into Women?

Click for bigger.

Death By Curry

Vindaloo.

A couple NSFW at the bottom of the page.

Cooking with the goons of SomethingAwful

Recipes.

Hmm, lovely.

Forty-one Anomalies of Water

Here.

Bottled Water Cited as Contributing to Tooth Decay

Lack of fluoride. Apparently.

Watch with built-in Geiger Counter

Gamma watch.

Women more conscientious washers

According to a new U.S. observational study, 90 per cent of women wash their hands after using a public restroom, compared with 75 per cent of men.

I'm surprised it's 75%.

Jesus Christ or Ringo Starr?

Cloud formation.

Determined Squirrels Fill Woman's Car With Nuts

Walnuts. Thousands of them.

With video.

Man Missing Dog Gets Ransom Note And Something Extra

A bag of dog excrement.

"It looked like my dog's poop, but I'm not a dog poop analyst."

Genderless baby-mermaid born in Moscow region

Sirenomelia.

With picture.

American Football Player Banned For Having No Legs

A mandatory equipment rule from the National Federation of State High School Associations' rule book that stipulates players must wear shoes, thigh pads and knee pads.

Rabu, 21 September 2005

I'm Sure There's A Perfectly Rational Explanation

More Weird & Bizarre Auctions From Across The Globe

Bizarre Bids.

The Thing In The Crib

A wonderfully funny piece of prose.

With many thanks to Ben.

Noah's Ark

A feasibility study.

Russian Mouse

Hand-painted computer accessories.

I wonder if they have lots of smaller ones inside?

Bridesmaid Dresses From Hell

Ugly Dress.

Secure

Katrina™ The Drink

Get Blown Away.

All in the best possible taste. Obviously.

Jurors Will See Judge's Alleged Sex Toy

I remember this story.

Now for the court case.

Chinese rubber company begins marketing condoms

Clinton and Lewinsky.

Serbians Create Giant Burger

62 pounds.

Sky-Diving Grandmother Keeps Promise

Aged 85.

Selasa, 20 September 2005

That's Torn It

Translate Any Internet Page From English To French

With The Frenchlator.

Check out Le Nothing Do Avec Arbroath.

Help get Mario out of his childhood vintage stroller

Best leave him there.

Ji Lee Pleaseenjoy

Speech bubble sticker fun.

Britney Spears dot com

Tacky.

Spice Up Your Dreams In A Skort Man Sleep Skirt

Machine washable.

Talking Pregnant Trailer Trash Doll

Familiar?

Mud

Smell Like Bob Marley or Cheech and Chong

With Killer Scents.

How To Make The Church Popular

A challenge from the fine people at b3ta.

Urinals at Airport in Amsterdam With a Fly Etched Into the Bowl

From Truth Or Fiction.

Artists erect 200-foot-long pink bunny on mountain

In Italy.

Adult runaways replace teenage counterparts

In Japan.

Scotland tops list of world's most violent countries

England and Wales came second.

Senin, 19 September 2005

Today Is Talk Like A Pirate Day

You can read all about it here and here. The British HQ is here.

Want pirate information?

Captain Pugwash with his sidekicks Master Bates, Seaman Staines and Roger the Cabin Boy was always fun.

If you are in Florida you could go on a pirate cruise with Captain Memo.

Ever wondered what's your pirate name? (Black Sam Flint).

Finally, here's a special pirate message from me.

The American's guide to speaking British

The very best of British.

The Gullibility Factor Test

Here.

You Are Not Sick You Are Thirsty

Watercure.

Zero Sex Life

He's asking for your help.

Infant and child confinement solutions

Babycage.

World's most expensive things

Keep clicking next.

Laptop

$350,000.00

Christian Tattoo Association

Really.

iPod Flea

Nice parody.

If you are on dial-up you may find this link more user-friendly.

Thanks to Bob.

Woman sues TV station for axing 'extreme' makeover show

'Extreme' tragedy.

'Dream hunts' aim to draw more children to the sport

Sport?

Loch Ness too chilly for Scottish skinny dippers

I'd be more worried about being eaten.

Minggu, 18 September 2005

Photoshopped?

The Ultimate Hippie Vacation

On eBay.

Ends tomorrow.

High-speed and Fine Art Photography of Drops and Splashes

Liquid Sculpture.

Radio Toaster

Space-saver.

The Bone Lady

Roadkill Nancy.

Gratuitous

Click for bigger.

Sperm Ships

Heading towards the UK.

Doctor Wants to Try Face Transplant

In Cleveland.

Off-Duty Corrections Officer Charged With Attacking Scooby Doo Character

Where's Shaggy when you need him?

Jeep, Doing 80MPH, Drives Under Plane To Fix Landing Gear

Using a five-foot long pole.

With video.

Priest Pricks Children With Unsterilized Pin

To demonstrate the pain Jesus suffered during crucifixion.

Sabtu, 17 September 2005

Lighthouse

How Smart Are You?

This particular smart-arse scored 20 out of 20.

Paul Anka Rocks

Well, not exactly.

Scroll down to listen to his versions of Wonderwall and Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Great.

Edit: for some reason, when I click on the links they automatically open with Real Player. However, if you click on the Listen button near the top of the page first, you have the option of choosing Windows Media Player which seems to stream a lot better.

Disco Divas

You don't have to play the game.

If you just want to strut your funky stuff, click on practice your dancing.

The Most Annoying Tune

Old, but still annoying.

The Most Annoying Website

Ever.

And it is.

You've been warned!

Hint: hold down your Esc key.

First photo of Preston Michael Spears Federline

Bless.

Illuminated Bathtub

$1399.

Extreme Shaving

The sport that really separates the men from the boys.

The World's First "Bionic Man"

Jesse Sullivan.

The Late Mo Mowlam

Was booked on a speaking tour of the UK before her death.

Here's how the Blackfriars Arts Centre sensitively announce her sad demise.

Scroll down to Friday 14 October.

Edit: It has been removed from the website now, but you can see how they announced it here.

Or, if you're quick enough you can view it via Google cache.

Power-dressing Aussie leaves trail of destruction

He built up a 40,000-volt charge of static electricity in his clothes as he walked, leaving a trail of scorched carpet and molten plastic.

Man breaks record for watching TV

69 hours and 48 minutes.

Plague-Infected Mice Missing From N.J. Lab

I'd have thought that is quite dangerous.

Jumat, 16 September 2005

Mobile Home

Pie Eating Contest

Can you eat the entire pie in just 15 bites?

Merlin's Lists of Five Things

5ives.

Welcome To My Trailer Park

Funny.

The Bad Fads Museum

Fashion, collectibles, activity and event fads of the last 100 years.

Sooty

This is quite an old story but impressive none the less.

Click for bigger.

Sexy Foreign Phrases

Domani alla stessa ora?

A Pole Lot of Fun

Have a pole dancing party in the privacy of your own home.

So You Wanna Be A "Hooters" Girl

Here's the employee handbook.

Doggy Bags

Arf.

Hummer Laptops

Rugged.

Pizza Fork and Cutter

Saves time.

The Most Aggravating Things About Being A Pizza Delivery Driver

Gripes.

Cardstacker Gallery

Cards.

Small Big Things

By Cynthia Greig.

Hello Possums

Art by Patricia Piccinini.

Strange stuff.

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Here.

Sexism May Shorten Men's Lives

Researchers find.

Heather Mills McCartney loses leg after row with J-Lo's guards

It's a good job it wasn't the other one.

Neighbours Find Obscenity Mowed Into Lawn

Two words.

Treadmill Arrives for Alaska's Elephant

Exercise.

Czech town builds 10,000 euro bridge

For squirrels.

Woman complains to cops after hitman she hired fails to get the job done

Japan.

Grandmother, 73, held as sausage looter

Sausages.

"Wearing a white lycra body suit that exposed just his nose and eyes"

Wacko.

Kamis, 15 September 2005

Resisting Arrest

Ball Bounce

Get the ball to the other side.

Elephants

Everything you ever needed to know.

The Art of Hand Cooing

Coo.

Animated Exercise Examples

Phew.

What exactly is the point of this page?

North Korean Random Insult Generator

You despicable political dwarf, you would be well advised to behave with discretion!

List of weapons that don't exist, but should

From Uncyclopedia.

Ongoing Border Disputes

By Country.

George's note to Condoleezza

At the 2005 World Summit and 60th General Assembly of the United Nations in New York September 14, 2005.

Small size.

Magnified.

Beauty products

Made from the skin of executed Chinese prisoners.

Inventor fuels car with dead cats

It doesn't say how many miles to the litter.

India's marathon boy, aged three

Bizarre.

And somewhat disturbing.

Indian man eats mud

Neighbours not happy.

Man stands 439 eggs on end

Not on top of each other though.

Now that would be impressive.

Rabu, 14 September 2005

Twins

Stoatface!

There are some fantastically funny pictures here.

The first one, from the 2004 Wisley Bus Rally is a cracker.

Horrible navigation. Sadly no right clicking allowed.

Mickey Mouse Potato

On eBay.

Orking

The art of.

Infrared powered pet drying room

Radiation.

Recipe Search Engine

Just search for the items that you have on hand in your fridge and see what recipes turn up.

FoodieView.

Billboard

Abercrombie & Fitch on New York's Fifth Avenue has erected a huge billboard. Shoppers enter the store through a doorway in his crotch.

Painful Tackle

Ouch.

Drunk driver jumps into back seat of moving car

Cunning plan.

7 year-old goes on adventure

Police find him riding on the back of a sheep.

Soup kitchens cater to well-heeled

More than 80 per cent of the people using London's soup kitchens are in fact not homeless.

Hmmm.

Selasa, 13 September 2005

Honest

How fast are your reflexes?

Find out by tranquilizing sheep.

I'm an ambling armadillo.

Unsent Letters

A storage space for lost words.

Winners of the I Look Like My Dog Contest

Woof.

Cookin' with Ken

Great.

Balloon Girls

I don't know what this is all about.

Contains no nudity.

Souvenir?

If you really must, you can view a vasectomy being performed on this page.

The link is at the bottom of the right hand column.

*Crosses legs*

World's Weakest Man Competition

Let the TRUTH be told.

11 kids found locked in cages in Ohio house

Rigged with alarms.

Indian government rat catching department hasn't caught a single rodent

In more than a decade.

Abused sheep found in dorm

Spray-painted black and dressed in a bra.

World Black Pudding Throwing Championship

Thrown at Yorkshire puddings.

Chinese farmers steal oil from state-owned pipeline

In large plastic bags.

Minggu, 11 September 2005

Attention

The Ultimate List of Practical Jokes

I don't know if it's the ultimate list or not, but it's certainly big.

Brain Food Groaners

All is not what it seems.

Pets Or Food

Bringing consumers healthy, certified organic animals at wholesale prices.

Whether you're getting a pet lizard for your son or a dozen Doberman flank steaks for a party, you won't find lower priced animals anywhere else that are better suited for Pets or Food.

Very good!

The Place Where Food Is Happy

Happy food.

Incredible Inedibles

Fake food.

Eat and Get

Frog legs labelled as chicken thighs

Easy mistake to make.

Woman has diamond made from the ashes of her son

Rhodri.

She had it made here.

Transgendered Hurricane Katrina evacuee released after 5 days in jail

Jailed for using the women's shower facility.

Woman sues hospital over $1,133 charge to have a toenail clipped

She's probably thankful they didn't give her a full manicure.

Grounded

Send an email to yourself in the future

At FutureMe.

Mr Tweakathon

Press the numbers 1-9 on your keyboard to tweak those muscles.

Bacon and Eggs

Cooked using a steam iron.

There are more creations from Thomas Scott here.

Body Photography

With lots of little props.

Contains nothing but nudity.

Head To Christ

Website of former Korn guitarist Brian 'Head' Welch who has rejected rock music and found God.

The Miraculous Winking Jesus

Miracle or animated gif?

100 Things To Do In Scotland Before You Die

I must recommend number 7.

Animal Movies and Sound Clips

Jungle Walk.

Sabtu, 10 September 2005

Police Inspection

Angelwing Nursery, Home Of "Cuddle Therapy"

This site is all about reborn babies, mainly Berenguer and Antonio Juan dolls taken through a reborning process and made to look and feel just like real babies.

This is a weird site and I don't think I like it.

The navigation of the site is a nightmare also. Here is an example, Paige.